Breaking Bread together is possibly one of the best, and most important part of community life. I am proud to say this is something we have always done very well in Groundswell Cohousing. (The multi generational cohousing community at the Yarrow Ecovillage).
Recently a new friend over at Creekside Cohousing in Courtney emailed asking for more information on how we manage 3 community meals per week with no common house. (Wait till you see what we do once we get that commercial kitchen!) As I was writing the information out I suddenly realized how proud I am of how we manage to hold together these integral meals together. I thought I'd share.
Some people like to cook with spouse, others like to mix it up. For me with small kids to tend to I prefer to do all the cooking and then Paul cleans after dinner. It works for me. Others prefer to always work with someone else. We've also considered adding pre teen to the team for clean up etc... because they eat so darn much! I like the idea of having the kids learning from adults in their community. It is important to me that the kids still have opportunities to contribute.
Something else we've considered is adding a second rotation just of moms for kid friendly food to be available each night. This for two reasons: 1. Kids are picky and need kid friendly food. 2. It seems more financially fair to the single people who don't have kids. In this system I would cook once per rotation on the adult meal, and once another night I'd check in with the cooks and augment the meal with a complementary kid dish... Mac and cheese, cut veg, something kids can be sure about.
- Do you cook vegetarian only? If not, have there been issues with people finding it unfair to pay the same rate for a meat meal as vegetarian?
The rule of thumb here is cook what you want but you have to be able to feed everyone. So... If you do chicken- have marinated tofu for the vegetarians. This ultimately means we all end up cooking vegetarian... and more rice than noodles due to this unfortunate wheat belly craze. No matter though. We all could eat more beans and less steak. Paul and I eat meat on our non community nights and we've survived. You could also instate one night a week to be a "meat eaters" night. The vegetarians just don't sign up for that night in the rotation leaving a little room for the meat eaters to be catered to.
- Who does the groceries and do they have a budget?
Whoever is cooking does the shopping and pays for that meal. For us this feels important. You can kill community suppers very quickly when you begin making the whole thing about the money. For us- people give what they can, cook what they want to serve, and the whole thing feels very abundant.
In my experience most meals for about 20 adults and a few kids (not every one is signed up for every night) ends up costing about 50-65 dollars. No money changes hands. Some meals are cheaper- other are more expensive. At the end of the day doing it this way allows people to "get a deal" on cook day because they aren't doing a whole receipt calculation. There is also something to be said for ease. My god if I had to keep every receipt and nickel and dime every time I cooked I would just quit. THIS MEANS: People MUST approach community dinners from a place of abundance. Of pure giving and receiving. People MUST treat others as they wish to be treated. So if you are cheap and you just want to work out the cheapest thing to make, and that is all you ever cook- your dinner rotation will surely teeter off. If you put hear and soul in? You'll surely fly!
- How do you handle sign-ups? How early do people have to sign up?
Julia and Ingrid have mastered this. It is a fancy google system that requires a diligent person to go around once every rotation with a clip board. I don't understand it completely but I know that once every six weeks or so I get a visit from "the clip board lady" and she asks how many night I want to come per week and which nights. If you sign up for tuesdays you cook and eat on tuesdays. We haven't worked out how to have people just eat whenever and cook whenever. We like this system because it is predictable. My kids KNOW that thursdays is our community supper night. We used to do three nights a week but with after school programming and homework once a week is the best we can muster. Some families do all three nights. They then cook one night per number of nights they eat per rotation. Did that make sense?
- We are planning a trial of cook teams whereby one of our two weekly potlucks would be replaced by a cook team meal. I DID suggest a limited time trial, but the response was pretty unanimous that they want it to be indefinite with opportunities for feedback and adjustment along the way (YAAY!).
- I also wanted to invite you to share a recipe with us. Something tried and true that you could recommend we use to increase our chance us of success in our early days. Perhaps you could also give us a few pointers on how to prepare this meal - timing etc. Many thanks if you can do this - and I look forward being able to reciprocate in future!!
Winners around here:
-Pancake supper: pancakes, eggs, bacon (on the side for meat always works) grilled tomatoes
- Any hearty soup and home made bread. Especially in winter
-Lasagna... one meat and one veg... but only on nights with no wheat or dairy concerns.
-Fried rice and veg with marinated Tofu
-"Assemble your own" tacos, salads, pasta bowls (Have different noodles, and sauces)
-Dahl and rice
-baked potatoes with chicken thighs, marinated tofu, and baked veg
-Channa Masala with rice, grated carrot and beets, and yogurt (one family makes this every time they cook. Some people like the routine of it. I would personally like to see families at least have one recipe in rotation for every night they attend dinner to allow for variety and fairness.
The trick is that no matter how much I make- it ALL gets eaten. I now cook and take out a rubbermaid container or two before I serve the meal. If someone shows up late it is there for them. If not- I have lunch for us the next day.
When eating in groups- people will always eat 40% more than on their own. As you do more meals, people will self correct and begin to eat less. At the end of the day it will all work out.
My favourite thing about the dinners is the ritual of it. We ALWAYS do a gratitude circle. Before we eat, every one stands together and shares one thing that they are happy about from their day. Mine this week was that my ear was on the mend. Paul's was that his latest batch of beer turned out. It gives us a way to keep up with the rest of the group. We also sometimes close by signing Sophie's little song...
"Thank you! Thank you! Boy it tasted good!
Thank you! Because of you I'm eating as I should!
Thank you! Thank you!"
Your group will of course come up with its own routines and rituals. I'm convinced they make every meal sweeter.
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