Dialogue Do we? Or Don't we?

I went to my third session of dialogue today. Even as I write this post I wonder if I should even admit that I go. Dialogue is a tool used to discuss potentially complex and even controversial topics in a community. When you attend dialogue, you are meant to shift from our more prevalent conversing mode "discussion" where one is meant to have an opinion, to a more exploratory means of speaking where you sort of give up your opinion in order to bounce ideas off of the common space.

It is sort of like slow motion brainstorming. You allow silence. You suspend judgement. You listen more than you speak. I spend the whole time staring at the candle in the middle of the circle and at the end I sort of feel... light. Air filled. I'm surprised at how the activity enlightens me.

The sadness I feel is that Dialogue is poorly attended in our community. I think it goes without saying, and is even taboo to say, that the reason for this lays at least slightly in how dialogue was first introduced to the community. It is a sad reality when I have to admit that sometimes politics gets the best of our little haven. I feel like it is even Taboo for me to be blogging about it now- but some things move in me and need a voice.

Politics. Dirty word. Its true, and sad that we all seem to play our cards in a calculated sort of way at times. We support things when we want to support the person that it is important to, and we refuse to support things when we want to support people that those things offend.

Did that make sense? I don't know. And I don't want to give off the impression that this place is full of politics. It certainly is a haven from the normal world that is for sure. My neighbours, for the most part, act in an almost enlightened way. But even the Dali Lama has moments where his ego gets the best of him, and I'm reminded of our humanness when it happens here.

Sometimes when I live in community, I witness two sides of very important issue. In each side I can see the right, and the factors that contribute to the conflict that seems to be so prevalent to the rest of us. I see the blinders that a neighbour wears to protect their own version of a truth. I know they aren't easily removed. I know I wear the same blinders about some issues and it haunts me that I don't even know when I'm wearing them.

In the case of "Dialogue" and the conflict that was created around what I believe is causing its low attendance, I am baffled by the irony. The act of dialogue itself seems to be the answer to the very problem that created its low attendance in the first place. Dialogue is a tool to help people explore and see all points of view. Shifts can happen in dialogue that dramatically change the way someone, or even a whole group looks at an issue.

Now I realize people are busy. And certainly some people don't attend because it just doesn't appeal to them. But I have to wonder what the turn out would have been like had Dialogue been introduced by a different person, in a different way. In my heart of hearts I wish for a dialogue with more voices. I know I can't drag anyone to anything. But I miss the sound of the mix of voices. I learn less without the ones who haven't come.