Article text below has been taken from my computer. I have fought with the scans of the article long enough! I'm off to make popcorn with my husband. Enjoy!
How Recreational Therapy Helps Fun Happen
Vivian Vaillant
One of the greatest truths that I realized about joining cohousing came too late. Thank God.
"Let's just go." I remember saying. Still in my jammies while laying, exhausted, cuddling my oldest who was sedated by the TV, "I'm so sick of racing around to get nowhere. There has to be a better way. I'm so done with the rat race."
"Okay. Email them." My husband was bouncing the baby on one knee and my son on the other with his eyes closed. He was trying to nap. The clean laundry from last week piled beside him on the coffee table, yet to be folded.
I think I'd expected some sort of fight. Some sort of anchor from my conventional husband to stop me from firing off the email that changed everything. The truth is that if I was tired of Paul working all the time- he was more tired. We both craved a simpler life. We wanted to have energy for the fun parts of life. We were sick to death of working all the time. A handful of emails and some heart to heart conversations and we found ourselves in Yarrow for Yarrow Days, and the first of a series of workshops which eventually lead to us buying into our new neighbourhood; Groundswell Cohousing at Yarrow Ecovillage. (near Chiliwack, British Columbia)
The Yarrow Ecovillage, our answer for a simpler life, turns out to be far from simple itself. The Ecovillage Society has done a nice job of structuring itself as the umbrella organization that oversees three primary responsibilities; supporting organic farming, fostering cohousing communities, and building a commercial district to enable people to work close to home. The wonderous variety of people we have attracted have mixed interest in these three parts. Some are farmers leasing land, others run businesses waiting for new commercial space to rent. Most of us live, or will live in either the multigenerational Groundswell, or the yet to be named Senior's Cohousing planned for the near future. We feel blessed that we've come on board in time to help build and grow our little village. While we're all so different, we share a common thread. We came to the village to enjoy a simpler, fuller life, and we're working hard to get there.
And let me assure you there is always work to be done. Certainly it has been more fun working with our new neighbours than it ever was on our own, however here comes the great truth. Are you ready?
Living in Cohousing will not make me less busy. If I'm not careful I will be more busy than I ever was. And here is the kicker. It's up to me to make sure it stays fun.
Enter Kara Cooper; Recreational Therapist.
About three years ago I met this "mom friend". We started hanging out when our daughters were two. I learned very quickly that Kara was special. Specifically I learned never to say "We should do that!" about anything I didn't actually have the energy to do or I'd find myself a short week later in the throws of whatever activity I'd laid claim to. Kara never understood that "We should do that!" in the normal world really means, "I'd love to do that but the truth is I'm too tired and disorganized to bother trying.” It was with Kara that I found myself on a two week camping trip with four kids two and under. Within a week of me expressing interest, the site was booked, the car was packed, and we were off. It was one of the best trip of my life, and some how I came back refreshed and ready to take on the world.
I can't begin to relay the number of amazing days Kara has planned for us. Things that might feel like work become events, rainy days are opportunities for blanket fort cities and garden work becomes time for wheel barrow obstacle courses for giggling kids. The work still gets done but noone seems to notice how.
When you comment, and people always do, Kara attributes her success in activity planning to her carreer in Recreational Therapy. According to the Canadian Recreational Therapy Accociation, Therapeutic Recreation is a profession which recognizes leisure, recreation and play as integral components of quality of life. Service is provided to individuals who have physical, mental, social or emotional limitations which impact their ability to engage in meaningful leisure experiences.
Very soon after Kara began to show me how recreation is key to my existance I began to remember times in my life where a good night out dancing left me more invigurated than a twelve hour sleep. Gone are the days of spontaneous frivolity. The kids took well care of that. Now it seems like a struggle to get anything onto the calandar that we all have energy for. But I know deep inside it does us all good to get out of our daily routines. Oh but the exhaustion!
I know I'm not alone. Now that we have a village to build it seems like every spare moment needs to be multi-tasked. Everything has to be about the village. Work parties allow socialisation- but the projects have to get done. Meals allow social activity- but you still have to eat. Very soon you can find yourself completely surrounded by have to's, instead of want to's.
So how do you consciously keep a community from drowning in meetings and work parties? I find that every one needs at least one truly frivolous experience a week to keep going. For some people that can be board games and beer, others might need to get out into nature. I also find it very useful to drag community members out of the village for off-site activity. Truth be told there are so many ways to have fun and so many people who need to have fun we all need to work together to provide each other with mulitple outlets from which we can pick and choose. It doesn't always happen easily. Sometimes we have to very consciously create fun in our lives- the same way we have to make time to weed gardens and get laundry done. With time and practice everyone can become an event planner for their own community.
In Recreational Therapy there are three ways a person is thought to get somthing out of the experience of an event; looking forward to, participating in, and looking back on the experience. Each of these can allow people to get the most out the events you plan.
Don't know where to start? I have some sugestions inspired by my personal Recreational Therapist for you here. Not every community is lucky enough to have a professional Rec Therapist on hand, but we can all learn to incorporate these simple behaviors into our own lives in order to intentionally provide more fun in our lives.
Jump to the pump. The next time people are sitting around talking about how great it would be to do something, be the person to pull out the calandar and book it! Don't worry about the greater community just yet. Try and find a date that works for those of you in the initial discussion.
Record great ideas. If no date can be found, stick the idea into a “Fun Day Jar”. While we still await our common house, one of my great plans for the mail room is an easy to access jar with an attached pen and index cards. When an idea comes that we can use right away we can flesh out as much of the idea as possible on a card and stick it in the jar. Even as I write this I wonder if we'll ever use the ideas we collect, but it will give us a place to store our passionate ideas, and remind us to take a break. It will also be a great tool for our Social team.
Branch out. Once a date for the event has been planned, invite as many people as you can think of. It's in our nature to assume other people are too busy to come out and play. I've found that it never hurts to try. Email is not nearly as effective as in person. An announcment at a community meeting or on a billboard helps, but a knock on the door ensures more people will take time to come out. Another thing we all do is accidentally write people off before we've asked. If a family has never participated before, invite them anyways. One day they may surprise you and themselves.
Speak often about the event in positive light. Remind people that it is coming and discuss the parts you are most looking forward to. Try not to dwell on the work that it will take to make it happen, but rather the joy it will bring when the day arrives.
Let it be simple for your guests. If you are planning an event, people will naturally feel they should help. If someone has a specific contribution they would like to ad, welcome it and say thankyou- but otherwise be okay to answer the question “What can I do to help?” with, “Just come and have fun!”. Take joy from the fact that you are treating your neighbours to a work-free night.
Don't let busy people discourage you. Okay. You may not get the turn out you'd like. And some events like a thrift shopping trip may be designed for a small and specific group. The size of the group matters less than the fun the group has. If you have ten people interested and three people show up GO ANYWAY! Have fun and talk about it with others. Soon enough people will get the bigger picture and be more willing to drop the work and have a little fun.
Go the extra mile. Instead of just making Sushi, find some Japanese music and supply an oragami craft aswell. On a thrift shopping trip for the moms insist on starting with diner out and have a contest for the tackiest find. Try to have something for each of the fives senses; taste, sight, smell, touch, sound. While not every event will allow you to think this way it helps to start somewhere.
Take and post pictures. The internet has been a double edged sword for this step. In some ways it has made it so much easier to share photos with friends and family but it depersonalizes the experience. The best luck I've seen for this step is the old fashioned bill board. Take pictures, choose a handful and print them. Print doubles and give copies to the people in the photos. Kara has been doing this for me for years. I have so many of them I have taken to taping them into the insides of my cupboard doors. When I go to put things away- there we are smiling out from our adventures. It makes us remember to plan more.
Go to events planned by others. Say Thank you. I know more than once I would have preferred to stay home from any one of Kara's events. I go becuase I know she's worked hard to plan it. And you know? I always end up having much more fun with her than I would snuggling my remote control.
If meetings are the only way to get people's attention right now try having a guest speaker in for a quick ten minute participation session. Some great topics for this is Laughter Yoga, Belly Dancing, a synopsis of really cool seminar a community member took. Chances are that a number of people may enjoy themselves so much they'll respond when you invite them to a longer class.
Vivian Vaillant is a neighbour in waiting at The Yarrow Ecovillage, meaning she is an active member of the community still waiting for her home to be built. Vivian enjoys the one mile living aspect of the Ecovillage and expects her green-built home will be ready for occupancy January 1, 2012. www.yarrowecovillage.ca
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